Big Time Reviews
by Kailynn Sanchez
Summary: This story is me reviewing BTR episodes with my own opinion. If you want me to review other episodes just review to this or PM me and tell me which episodes you want.
1. Big Time Bad Boy

**BIG TIME BAD BOY**

I just love the dance they're doing when "City is ours" is playing. Awesome.

"Hair mouse… chocolate mousse… spandex"? I was waiting for something with the word "mouse"…

The "Bad-boy experiment of '95"? 15 years ago? I don't think Kelly would be old enough to remember that, let alone be Gustavo's assistant…

"Look at my back… check out my back…" I think I'm gonna have to check out those backs in _person_, thank you very much.

Molly… aka creep… I want that lolly-pop, though!

Bitters, why were you in the floor when Buddha Bob chopped that doughnut? Weren't you scared for your head?

I just love Katie in pigtails. She's so cute.

Mrs. Knight, why are you scared of Logan? He's not that scary.

Did Carlos just… did he just moon people out the window…? That's not right.

What is this? Bad-boy auditions? Just make someone be the bad boy! You don't have to make a whole production out of it!

Ya, Logie. You fix your hat and look stupid.

"_Kelly_ is terrible at faking." And _Kelly_ looks good in orange. But Carlos doesn't…

What is with Carlos and that board? Breaking it with his face doesn't make him bad, just crazy.

Ugh… Griffin's daughter… Mercedes… bitch…

You did _not_ just hit James!

Wayne-Wayne, your goatee is gay-gay.

MEAN.

"We're not afraid of Wayne-Wayne, or anybody else." And yet you scream at _Camille_?

I love Kendall's hand motions when he's describing Wayne-Wayne for the second time. "Fakey Fakey, Poser Poser."

Please stop saying things twice. It's annoying and stupid.

"Stop, this is _not_ cool." _You're_ not cool.

TREE HATS!

Yes, they _are_ really good at plans!

Carlos – cute. Logan – eh. Kendall – Sexy. James - *drools a little bit*

Plus-sized _head_? You're got a plus-sized _body_!

Molly? _Kinda _creepy?

OH. MAH. GAWD. KENDALL'S A SXY BAD-BOY! And he looks hot in leather, too. Hell-O skinny jeans!

Wayne-Wayne just rhymed "bad" with "bad". Yeah. Smooth move.

Is Monty in Gustavo's office? Because when Kendall was destroying it, I'm pretty sure I head a meow…

Desk bathroom? #1 or #2?

Kumbayah, my lord, he just kicked my balls…

Ugh, Kendall you're so whiney. And you are _not_ dating Mercedes. That's just a disaster waiting to happen, as proved by "Big Time Demos".

Kelly looks good in pink, too.

Gustavo's handwriting looks very neat for scribbling on the song sheets earlier.

YES! WAYNE-WAYNE LOST HIS GAY GOATEE!

Why's Buddha Bob holding a whisk?

And "Molly Finster" looks like Katie in a blonde wig… is she Hannah Montana, too?

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Big Time Video

**BIG TIME VIDEO**

NO! NOT CAMILLE! Don't leave! Please! We won't have anyone to hit Logan anymore!

Logan, please. Just kiss Camille already. I've been waiting for a good kiss in this series for_ever_ so _please_! Just do it!

Yay! She tripped! Awesomeness!

I hope Gustavo had a breath mint when he yelled and the guys, like, flew away.

Oh god. Marcos is back. And now he's a director… great…

I officially hate the Jennifers just a little more, now. Just a little bit.

NO! NOT JO! I was literally screaming that when I saw her dragging the squeaky suitcase behind her. I was like NO! NOW MY FAVORITE BTR COUPLE IS RUINED!

Oh, you sneaky devil you Jo…

YES! KENJO! FINALLY! Even though it was pretty minor, IT WAS STILL KENJO!

And Bitters? Mojo? _What_ mojo?

Ooh, who clogged the toilet? My bet's on Logan. Lol Big Time Bad Boy… jkjk it was probably Carlos…

Lemme just say this: Buddha Bob finally looks half-way decent when he's in his director's costume.

Um… Bitters… no. You're fat and ugly and very unattractive. Don't pretend to be. Leave the sexy-men-washing-cars bit to James and Kendall.

I love Kendall's shirt in this episode. The blue and the purple/pink look really good together.

Kiss Camille, kiss Camille, kiss Camille, Dammit. Why did you have to slap him?

Marcos, don't leave – oh. Nice.

I think Marcos has an obsession with the word "pretty."

Don't try to look sexy, Bitters. Never again.

James, however, looks _sexy_ in maroon…

Giant green-screen. Nice.

* * *

Kendall'd better be blowing that kiss at me…

Yes! Logie did a back-flip!

Rock out Camille! You're staying at the Palmwoods! And I love you dress!

Light-up balloons!

* * *

Ooh, Logille alert!

"Great video"? Try AWESOME VIDEO!

BIG-TIME-RUSH-MOBILE!

Carlos, your hypnotizing skills _suck_, jsyk.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Big Time Party

**Big Time Party**

*sniff* Ew, Carlos, did you fart?

Why does Gustavo insist on calling them "dogs"?

Why are Carlos and James the only ones who play with food? Dinosaur chicken nuggets, too!

Stupid party box…

Of course Katie would like to go to Vegas… poker freak…

Wtf? Where'd they get an octopus?

Yeah… the strikes on the door are kinda embarrassing…

Why does Kendall say "sodies" instead of "soda"? He did that in Big Time Dance, too!

Marbles… Kendall, I think _you've_ lost your marbles.

James and Carlos look hot in leopard prints.

"WOOP WOOP!" *straight faces*

Aww… Kendall's so sweet…

I think Camille is a little obsessed with Logan. Just a little.

CARLOS! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DANCING!

I love Camille in red.

"Nice party. When does it start?" Gotta love Griffin…

When is Fugizaki _not_ asleep?

Poor Kendall… you choked…

UGH! WHY'D MERCEDES HAVE TO SHOW UP?

"Welcome to the AHH!" nice…

Al Contacts… whose last name is "contacts", anyways?

Who _doesn't_ Carlos have in his contacts?

I bet Logan got a bunch of lip-gloss on his finger from "shushing" Camille and Mercedes.

I thought all Fugizaki liked was yogurt…

Love how Griffin's just texting this whole time.

"These aren't even the real boys." No dip shit, Sherlock.

Gotta love Carlos' noise-maker.

"Want some punch? I'll get you some punch." Nice.

BUSTED!

Bitters is trying too hard to be CSI-like.

I love how Griffin's the first one outta there once Kelly says that there's a party at the Palmwoods.

The party box returns.

OPPA!

"WOOP WOO-" *chokes, keels over and dies* lol…

How's Logan all dry now? He just fell in the pool?

Gay crowns. Really gay crowns.

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**PLEASE REVIEWWW!**


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